Claeys Road Diaries
“Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt" ~John Muir
Thoughts of Home #nps #roadtrip
When I opened my eyes the other morning and looked out of our tiny ‘kitchen’ window, the mountain of rock was a bright orange/red from the glow of the morning sun. It reminded me of Owassa. Home. In the Fall, the Appalachian Mountains on the west shore of the lake are illuminated by the morning sun which is such a treat every time. I am always awe struck at the brilliance of the colors that I sit, frozen, watching the magnificent scene. The first time I saw them I thought the hills were on fire! I ran downstairs to get my phone to take a photo but by the time I returned the colors had faded. That is how it is at the lake, in the mountains, the morning unfolds at its own pace; it doesn’t wait for us. Even when I am lucky enough to get a photo, it never does the scene justice. I just cannot seem to capture the fiery orange/red glow and the beauty it bestows.
So, there I was transported in my mind back home. Lake Owassa. A place that holds such charm and allure for us; our place to escape and destress. At least that is what is was before we left for this trip. I cannot help but wonder whether it will be the same when we return. What will it be like to live there? Full time. Will it still hold the same wonder and awe? Will it still be that sanctuary; our nature retreat? Will it still feel like a warm embrace? It looks different, that is for sure, because we’ve moved a lot of stuff from Homer Street but we didn’t register that before we left because we never finished unpacking; we never settled in.
I cannot help thinking about what it will be like when we return. I’ll admit, there is a tiny part of me that misses home. I think it is the part of me that craves a place that is familiar; a place that was created by us; that is us. I also miss my bed. (I am so over this air mattress thing!!) There is a lot of time to think when you are traveling. Driving in the car, hiking on the trails and sitting around the campfire at night. And often I imagine how it will be to be back home. After living on the road, never being in the same place for more than a couple of days, will we be antsy? Will we want to get back in the RV and hit the road? Or will we sigh, relax and settle in? The lake house is a miniature version of Homer Street but after living in a 200 square foot trailer for 12 months, will it seem spacious? Or will it still not be big enough? Where will be work? Will we have to endure a long commute like the old days? How long will it take to find work? What if we cannot find work? How will we pay the bills? Will our money run out? Will we stay at Owassa? Will we move? What comes next after this journey? How will life be different? Will Dave and I be different; changed? There are so many unknowns and lots to be anxious about. But I am certainly NOT ready to go home yet. There is still so much to see and do and I am not wishing this year to be over or to go any quicker.
I know one thing is for sure: whatever comes next, I have absolutely zero regrets about our decision to quit our jobs, sell our house and take this journey together. I am 100% certain it was the right thing; the absolute best thing for us. If I die tomorrow or a year from now or 20 years from now I will never regret it. This is the single, and I mean single adventurous thing I have done in my life. I’m thinking this may be my mid-life crisis. Not a sports car or an affair, but still something wild and crazy to shake things up. I needed something big, HUGE, to catapult me into the second half of my life. I needed time to think. Time to ponder. Time to re-evaluate. Time to get to know me. And time to figure out how to forgive and let go. I want to let down my walls, abandon fear and live my true happiness. I want to do, not just be. I want my work to mean something; I want my life to be about something. I want to make a positive impact – to leave a mark. So that when I die it will be with a full heart, no regrets. And so those that knew me will have known the truest me and will smile and remember me fondly.
Claeys Road Diaries 
Love it, love it, love it. A bold move and a great and honest goal that I am confident you will achieve. I know you are definitely inspiring to me Looking forward to seeing you guys when you return.
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